You do not need to get married

Say No to Marriage, WHY?

But Jesus said, “Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked—or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.

Matthew 19:11-12 (MSG)

It’s ridiculous to endorse marriage at teenage levels because teenagers are not emotionally, intellectually spiritually and financially mature enough to handle marriage.

The first reason to refrain from getting married is in the area of responsibility. Do not get married if you are not ready to embrace responsibility. Marriage is a responsibility. Both the woman and the man each have responsible roles to play. Ladies, managing the home is not a joke. It is a technical job that requires expertise for good success. Guys, leading the home requires good leadership experience, foresight, planning and so much more. Incorporating fatherhood and motherhood in your individual and combined lives also requires some strong commitments. Please know that I am in no way indulging irresponsibility. The main point is to be fully aware of what you are getting into and be happy to embrace the mantle.

The second reason why you can choose to ignore marriage is if you are in it for the short term. Do not get married if you're not ready for a lifelong commitment. Some people want to get married for the fun of it. They love the idea of couple goals, matching outfits and social media endorsement but they are not willing to put up with any challenge that may come their way. When crisis comes, they zone out.  Imagine if your spouse is willing to go all the way to make it work but you are not interested, you will be putting your selfish desires first which will ultimately lead to emotional heartbreaks. It’s quite disheartening to enter into a marriage to jeopardize the future of another person when that person could have been better off with someone who understands his/her value. Marriage is more for people who are willing to put both their desires and those of their spouse into perspective as well as make significant compromises through thick and thin.

In addition, do not get married if you are not ready to serve. If you do not have the capacity or are unwilling to accommodate other people in your space, then forget about marriage. Marriage is service. It is more of selfless service. You have to be prepared to go on errands whether you are a man or a woman. Forget about your pride or ego, it’s more about giving; giving your time, giving yourself and all you have. In fact, it’s no longer about you, it's about both of you. A strong partnership that needs to be nurtured daily to stand the test of time. 

Also, do not get married if you have an unforgiving spirit. Should you always hold on to grudges if I may ask? Some people do but it's not a good way to live. If your boss or colleague offends you, it's easy to ignore them because they will not always be in your life 24/7. Imagine living with someone who is likely to get on your nerves all day. Sometimes, it is not the intention of the other person to be annoying but differences in background, culture and preferences will create room for disagreements. You need to have the largeness of heart to always forgive for a healthy marriage. When you harbour grudge, you will also be unhappy and unproductive.

Finally, do not get married because you are having a baby. Pregnancy is not a license to get married.  You may make some mistakes that require you to raise another human but trust me you don’t want to be entangled in a lifelong relationship with someone who is not right for you.. Heal from your mistakes, pick up yourself and pursue your goals. 

NOTE: This post is about equipping you to choose marriage for the right reasons and not to discourage you.  Marriage is sweet and those who will enjoy the sweetness must be willing to put in the work involved.