What Do You Want In A Partner

The period when you decide who you want to spend the rest of your life with is one of the most beautiful phases in relationship affairs because it’s that time when you fantasize and create beautiful images of your ideal partner. Imagine dotting all the I’s and crossing your Ts in anticipation of having what you expect. Young people start as early as their teens to visualize the kind of partner they want. However, my emphasis is on relationships entered into for the purpose of marriage so, I will assume most people ready to settle start this stage from their late teens, say 19 to early 20s.

There is no hard and fast rule to follow when choosing a partner. Everyone has unique tastes and preferences; it will therefore be ideal that one chooses a partner based on his personal convictions and preference. 

Let me ask you this question, what do you want in a partner?
Good looks? Money? Or someone from your tribe?

I will recommend you choose a partner based on where you are headed and not where you are now.  Yea, foresight is needed when choosing a partner, there are some qualities that may not be obvious as you relate with your partner. If you are able to discern correctly, you might be able to see beyond the present. Ten years from today, your needs will change and the choice you make may be desirable or less desirable based on changes you never saw earlier. Humans tend to underestimate their capacities and character as well. Most times, we think we know who we are but time is the greatest revealer of personality. Over time, you will know who you are as you grow older.

Another thing to consider when choosing a partner is to choose a partner based on qualities that can stand the test of time rather than qualities that are ephemeral. Physical attributes, as important as they are, should not be the basis of choice. It may seem ridiculous that my advice is not based on looks because looks can fade away but values and qualities are timeless. When you are surrounded by troubled waters and rocky mountains, what would keep you stronger is not how beautiful you/your partner look but your inner qualities like resilience and patience.

Is money not important? It is. Money can come and go easily if not properly managed. What you should consider is his/her attitude towards money. Is he/she diligent, industrious, and passionate about his/her dreams? Is he/she willing to go to any length to make money? What is the motive for wealth acquisition? All these questions need to be answered and weighed correctly.

If you get someone from your tribe that has nasty behaviour will you marry him/her? Your answer is a pointer to its relevance in choosing a partner.

As much as you need the “perfect” partner, you have to strive to be a “perfect partner’’. Your future partner also has a ‘’spec’’ he is in search of. You may find him/her but if he/she does not find you to meet his ‘’spec’’ then it may not work. Keep improving your character, pay attention to your looks, and build your career, everything will fall into place when the time is right.