Love is not Perfect

I remember I heard someone say that, given all that you know about yourself,  would you marry you if you had the opportunity to? Think about it.

If you are looking for a perfect spouse, you may never find one. If you focus solely on your preferred list for your future partner, you may have to wait over a thousand years.

Love is not perfect and no partner is perfect. You can have a list of  mandatory qualities that you expect your spouse to possess but they may not tick all of the boxes. Most times, it is better to have a list of negotiable qualities and non-negotiable qualities. The non-negotiables should be based on values and not physical attributes. As a Christian, I propose that negotiable qualities should be based on the principles of the word of God. Please read my article on ‘What do I Want?’ for further insight.

When you make a decision to marry someone, you make a decision to marry them in their strengths and their weakness. If you are good friends, you may be able to find out most of their strengths and weaknesses quickly. Some of them may be hidden and can only be revealed with time.

All the lovey-dovey feeling you had called love at first sight may be love cut short when those other weaknesses start to open up. That curvy lady you admire during dates, may snore so badly at night. Will you run away after your wedding night when you find out she snores?. Marriage is not for perfect people. It is for two people willing to work on their imperfections. People willing to support each other in their flaws. Your partner is not perfect but can be close to perfection if he/she constantly improves on himself/herself.

Dating and courtship is not the time to explore your sexualities but a time to find out about each other so that you can make informed decision for the future.  Communication is so important and being real to each other will make things easier. As beautiful and admirable as your partner’s strengths are, he/she also has weaknesses. Are you willing to help them in their weakness? Will you ignore them or despise them when they exhibit those traits that you are not proud of? Can you leverage on your strength to cover their weakness?

Love is important in a relationship but love is not the ultimate. Love is not perfect but love produces the qualities that will help you choose contentment irrespective of other derailing choices. Love is patient and teachable. When you love someone, you will be patient with them when they make mistakes and teach them to become better. Love is sweet but unfeigned love is hard work. Are you ready to truly love?